PRAY

If any one happens by this way, please pray. My heart hurts and I don't want to give in to the pain and the feeling of loss that I have had for nearly three years. This used to be the big weekend for Dad and Mom and all their buddies. And everytime I hear the engine of a race car, a checkered flag, or anything dealing with the Indianapolis 500 race, my heart hurts. Memories flood in and I miss them and Aunt Connie all the more. I wouldn't wish them back for anything, but to feel their arms around me, see them smile at me, hear them tell me they love me, or just lay my head in their lap and have them tell me it is going to be okay would surely be nice. I don't have any feelings that someone else doesn't have, but they are mine and folks I am still dealing. I feel stronger sometimes, but this last week has been hard. I have family that haven't even spoken to me since Dad died, because they didn't like something I did in regards to a write up in the paper, so not only did I lose my wonderful aunt, mom and dad, we have lost moms brothers and their wives. It is hard and weighs heavy on my mind, so I have written a card or letter to just let them know we love them, despite how they feel about us. I can't worry about it anymore, I have to move on from that also and I need to have a clear conscience. I didn't do anything, but that doesn't matter, I hadn't gotten in touch with them this last year either. With clear thoughts again now coming, I need to do what I can to open things up and if it isn't received then God can deal with them and heal my heart. Well I can't write for crying so as I asked early in the post before I rambled on, Pray for us, my family and Dena. Thank you!