I LOVE YOU LORD

Glory be to God, and I mean that with all that is within me. I am so grateful to God for all that He has done and all He is going to do. Yesterday to me was so glorious. I woke up with such expectancy and absolutely couldn't wait to get to church and pray and start the day, something was stirring inside me. I have been able to read the word, pray, and praise and worship God lately in a way I haven't been able to for a long time. It feels so good to be intimate with Him, to just love Him and allow Him to love me and change me, by being in His presence, He is the potter and I am the clay.
I was reminded yesterday of days gone by, times when you left the church or meeting you were at and His presence and annoiting was so strong that all day and sometimes days you were almost not here, but somewhere else, where it is just GOD, all you can do is praise Him, worship Him, talk about Him and just be in His presence, and you are surrounded by His love, and in return that is all you can do, love. It was that way for me yesterday, indescribable really, and I am left today, wanting more, more, more, more and more of Him. My heart was and is so full, I was able to watch God move in a mighty way. I saw people hurting and in need and saw the Lord restore them, give them hope, healing, love, salvation, holy ghost, peace and rest, whatever the needs were our Lord was there to meet them. What an awesome God we serve.
After night service I took my sister and her fiance' back to Muncie after Amber picked them up at the airport for me. It was already after 10:00 and I was tired, worried about getting sleepy driving home by myself. I was thinking on the way home about God and His goodness, still feeling the stirring inside of me and when I put in my new worship CD and began to worship the Lord, I was alive, my Spirit was alive and with tears flowing and hands flapping everywhere, I was swept away into His presence again, it was only fitting, it had been that way all day, why wouldn't it continue until bedtime. I went to sleep thinking about the Lord and when I woke up I was thinking about him, I pray that I could and would continue in an attitude of praise and worship, and that when my mind becomes still the I would naturally turn my thoughts to the Lord and His goodness. The song I can't get out of my heart and mind goes like this:

I will give you all my worship, I will give You all my praise
You alone I long to worship, You alone are worthy of my praise

I will worship with all my heart, I will praise You with all my strength
and I will seek You all of my days, and I will follow all of Your ways

I will bow down and hail You as King, I will serve You give You everything
I will lift up my eyes to Your throne, I will trust You trust You alone

It is called You're Worthy of My Praise by David Ruis (I think)

I was so blessed and I am still. This song Lord is my hearts cry. I love you Lord with all my heart.

Psalm 25:4,5
Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long

Hallelujah!

Memories

Ps 143:5-6
I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what your hands have done.
6 I spread out my hands to you;
my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.

NIV
Lord, I do remember and I am grateful for all that you have done in the past. I remember the miracles, I have seen the salvations, I have felt your touch and I feel fortunate to have experienced all of this and more. But Lord, as in verse 6 when David cried out to you, I too spread out my hands to you, expecting you to move for my soul thirst for you like a parched land. Nothing else will do Lord, but to have you, I am desperate for you. Lord as I cry out to you I know this is the cry of your people, your church, and our church. Help us to have expectation in you because of what we have experienced in the past, but let us look to the future, our future rooted and grounded in you. Lord help us to see others with their hands spread out thirsty and desperate for you and let us be willing as you lead to move and offer them the refreshment and comfort of your word. I love you Lord, thank you for your word and for drawing me nearer to you.

JESUS

I am so excited about Jesus and there is a stirring in my spirit I have been mentioning, I found a poem the Lord gave me a while ago and it goes like this:
JESUS
Jesus,Jesus my wonderful Jesus,you've came and given me a peace divine,
Jesus, Jesus my wonderful Jesus, help me Lord to stay in line,
Help me Lord to seek you daily in prayer, your word and deed,
and my Dear Heavenly Father, I know you'll meet my needs.
Dear Lord, My God, My Blessed Saviour, lead me and guide me each day,
I want to live in your presence Lord, this way I will not stray.
My heart you see is set to finish this race, for my life you turned around
and I one day will see you Lord and by you I will be crowned!
Help me Lord to be like you, to see others through your eyes,
and I know my Lord that by doing your work, I will be despised!
But to this Lord you say rejoice, and this I will do,
for Lord my God I have NEVER loved anyone the way that I love you!

I have found words the Lord has given to me and through me over the years, poems, songs, visions, dreams and even a devotional that the Lord, Ang and I put together and it makes me sorry that I lost my way for even a little while because I have missed this time with my Lord, I have missed His presence, I have missed loving Him the way only Susan can and I know He has missed me also and it is with this thought that I don't have to worry about "how i messed up or how it used to be" He is rejoicing just like I am that we are together again, so there is no time for regrets, just a lifetime ahead of loving Him and being who He created me to be and to do what He has and is calling me to do.

I pray the passion for God continues to burn in all of us and that we are able to walk in the ways He calls us to. Just as the poem states, it is all about Jesus and I am nothing and have nothing outside of Him. I have been despised and I hope that for Him I will be again, I just want to live for Him and allow Him access to every part of my being, to trust Him to do with me and through me things I can't imagine. I am beginning another leg of my journey for God and I am happy and joyful again. The Lord is so good, Glory be to God! Lord, I love you and I thank you that you chose me.

DECISION

Psalms 13
13:1 For the director of music. A psalm of David.
How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; 4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;my heart rejoices in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the LORD,for he has been good to me.
NIV

When I read this I thought how like us to go to God as if He is the problem when we can't feel His presence or when we get so far in SELF that all we see is the negative and when WE allow the enemy to overtake us, if only for a moment. We want to put it anywhere but where it belongs with us, we are responsible for our actions and the consequences of those actions. I think as David cried out, surely he heard what he was praying and at that point opened himself up to God and it was in verse 5 that he was able to receive what God had offered all along.

I see myself in those cries of David and in the end, whether it has been things I have brought on or the heartbreak of losing someone, I can say; I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation Lord, and I will sing to you because you have been good to me.

Glory be to God, He is on the move, stirring up His people, I love Him and I am ready (by faith) to move by the Spirit as He directs and leads me. How about you? Can we move together in unity to the places He would have us go, and the things He would have us do?

Change

Change - this word can bring about many different emotions. I was never one for change, except when I was saved, God changed me radically and I was grateful. The thing I think I lost sight of for the last 2 1/2 years was that when I prayed for God to change me from glory to glory, I was only looking for the good, fairly easy changes, not to say there were not hard things the last 13 years, there were - but nothing like what I experienced with the loss of my family. That changed my whole life. I had been grieving for what seemed like forever and couldn't seem to get passed that. I loved God through it all, but I allowed the enemy to use things to come between myself and my friends and my church, I was ready to walk away from it all and start over, but you see that would have been easy. What I mean by that is that I wouldn't have had to take responsibility for my part in it all. It was all my responsibility, and that is the way I look at it, I had to forgive what was real and what I perceived to be real and let it go, and let God have control. I see how God worked out many things in me during this time. I am no longer dependent upon others, but dependent upon Him, that is where I should have been all along. Totally dependent upon Him, He is the answer to every question, every need that I have. I am so excited by what God is doing, I feel a stirring, I hear His voice and I long to be in His presence, to dwell in His presence. I thank God for this time in my life where I have the opportunity to worship and praise Him in my home, at different times during the day to hear His voice and to read His word. I am joyful, I am grateful and I am stirred up because I serve the living God, my savior, my healer, my provider, the lover of my soul. He is my all in all, His love for me is greater than I can imagine. I am not alone, through the changes good and bad, I am not alone and if I will just allow Him, He will lead me and guide me in His perfect way and His perfect will for my life will be accomplished as I let Him have control. Lord Jesus, have your way in me, I am desperate for you, Lord in Proverbs 16:3 your word says "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed, this is my prayer, that all I do will be done unto you, for you and by you and all will glorify your name, I love you Lord and I thank you for the trials and tribulations, for bringing me through and for never leaving me or forsaking me.