Losing Control

I am thinking today about losing control. My pastor says I have control issues and he is right. It is a life long pattern, having to take care of people and trying to solve things so there would be no conflict, trying to take care of it myself. Several times I have had a revelation of God when I have let go and let God be in control, and just when I think I don't have it anymore, I find out I still am trying to fix everything, well now there is no one to fix but myself and I don't want to do it, I want Him to do it and do it right. I am worried about a job, what I am to do and nothing is happening, my husband said last night, you have a problem with that, don't worry, the right thing will come along, don't rush, enjoy, be patient it will all work out. I pray it does, I pray that God will finish in me what He started. I love Him and I want to be His LOVE SLAVE, I want to trust Him with my whole heart, I want to believe He is who He is and He only wants the best for me and mine. I WANT TO ONCE IN MY LIFE LOSE CONTROL, TOTAL CONTROL, THAT IS EVEN HARD TO WRITE, LET ALONE SAY OUT LOUD, TO ADMIT THAT I HAVE NO CONTROL AND HE CONTROLS ALL AND TO LET HIM HAVE HIS WAY, NOT SUSANS' WAY BUT HIS, WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE, I GUESS RUNNING TO HIS THRONE, LAYING AT HIS FEET AND LOVING HIM, REALLY BELIEVING IN MY HEART WHAT MY MOUTH SPEAKS, PUTTING IT INTO PRACTICE.