WHO AM I?

This is the question I have been asking myself for months. It seems like I have been grieving forever, it has been in reality about 2 years. 2 long continuing years of losing aunt, mom, dad. Lately, I am asking myself this question. For the last 14 years I was taking care of someone or several someones, now they are gone. I have been SAVED for the last 13 years and although it was because I was lost that I came to God, my need for Him always kept me close, the newness of who He was and the promises I had in Him drove me to Him. I love Jesus and haven't stopped, my concern is I don't know who I am or what I am to do. I have never had a dream outside of kids and a wonderful husband. I still have those things, but I have no dreams really and although I can go through the bible and find who I am in Christ, I need to know how to be what He says and how I can put that to use - Who is Susan - I see the beauty of God and now how the seasons are changing and things are coming to life and I have felt that is coming again, up out of the center of my being, I am so glad, but I feel guilty in some ways, that my heart still hurts so much and yet I am ready to move on, into greater things in God, to find joy in life and in my family that is here. Well today is a day of reflection and trying to sort out, writing it seems to help. Thanks