Katie and Amber chilling out after a long day! 

Josh basketball 2005 - Junior year 

PRAY

If any one happens by this way, please pray. My heart hurts and I don't want to give in to the pain and the feeling of loss that I have had for nearly three years. This used to be the big weekend for Dad and Mom and all their buddies. And everytime I hear the engine of a race car, a checkered flag, or anything dealing with the Indianapolis 500 race, my heart hurts. Memories flood in and I miss them and Aunt Connie all the more. I wouldn't wish them back for anything, but to feel their arms around me, see them smile at me, hear them tell me they love me, or just lay my head in their lap and have them tell me it is going to be okay would surely be nice. I don't have any feelings that someone else doesn't have, but they are mine and folks I am still dealing. I feel stronger sometimes, but this last week has been hard. I have family that haven't even spoken to me since Dad died, because they didn't like something I did in regards to a write up in the paper, so not only did I lose my wonderful aunt, mom and dad, we have lost moms brothers and their wives. It is hard and weighs heavy on my mind, so I have written a card or letter to just let them know we love them, despite how they feel about us. I can't worry about it anymore, I have to move on from that also and I need to have a clear conscience. I didn't do anything, but that doesn't matter, I hadn't gotten in touch with them this last year either. With clear thoughts again now coming, I need to do what I can to open things up and if it isn't received then God can deal with them and heal my heart. Well I can't write for crying so as I asked early in the post before I rambled on, Pray for us, my family and Dena. Thank you!

I'M BLESSED

I really wanted to take this time and say, I am blessed and to thank the Lord for it. I guess in a time when others want to hide, I want to go out. I feel like I am apart of the living again. I have survived my first week of full time. It has forced me to begin getting organized again. I made a menu out for 3 weeks, 3 whole weeks with no repeats except for my pizza once a weekend, alternating days off course. I have stuck with it too, even when it was late after a golf match I went home and cooked. I think this will be good for me, not to mention that God is faithful. I have met some really nice women and the Director of Patient Accounts and over the Central Business Offices also, has such a sweet spirit about her. She is quite young I believe to have worked at Henry County Hospital for 30 years already. I believe she is a "Christian" and the other Lady named "Judy" was raised in Africa because her parent's were missionaries. I guess there are some stories I will get to hear as I get to know her, if I get to know her that is. I just feel this is where I am supposed to be at this time in my life. I want to do the best that I can do, excel really and give the Glory to God. I am also thinking of taking that math class, with the thought of possibly going on to school in the near future for LPN. I really feel as though that may be where the Lord is ultimately leading me, I have a desire in my heart and I believe God will see that fulfilled. I have a wonderful husband, daughter, and son. I am pretty blessed in the sister department and friend department too! As for my family I think I am gonna have to work on that, they don't seem to want anything to do with me now, needs some checking into on my part I believe, in case of misunderstandings. I personally have let it go on far too long because I didn't want to deal with it yet life is too short to just be. Well I am going to close for now, I am really tired these days and going to bed earlier and actually going to sleep. Again, thank you Lord. God Bless all of you, or anyone who happens to come by for a quick visit. Bye for now and be BLESSED!!!!

This is Ed, Manu, Me, Sophie, Josh at church before they were going back to France, we were soooo sad. 

This is me on Liberty Island with the New York skyline behind me!!! 

NEW BEGINNINGS

Well tomorrow will be a new beginning a new start with a new job. I was asking for prayer and "confessing" being nervous and worried about the training I begin tomorrow, when my Pastor, started in on me about Peace and then brought up my scriptures and I do mean my scriptures which are all about Peace, DO YOU HAVE PEACE he asks, again and again!!!!! - Phil 4:4-9

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
NIV

I have stood on these scriptures for years and I am grateful for them, My Pastor then started in on me about the whole "I'm Believing God", I find it somewhat amusing, but it saddens me also. I have written in my blog about these very things and yet I speak differently when it comes down to it. Just this morning PBR had an opportunity to accept the word of the Lord and move into Him or go on with "the burden" really UNBELIEF and I was so blessed he chose the greater - yet move to the next service and I was confessing being anxious. Does that seem goofy to anyone else? I know this is where God wants me to be the job He has provided for me, this is a new mission field for me, I go there not knowing anyone and this can be a great thing. I am blessed to have a Pastor (Pastors) who calls it like he sees it and doesn't let me carry on so. In my heart I don't want to, yet at times it seems so easy to go back to old patterns of thinking and doing, Lord I give you my will, mind, heart, hands, feet - all of me, have YOUR way, mold me into what you have created me to be, help me Lord be a reflection of you, help me Lord to live the kingdom and to help bring the kingdom here, help me to pray withous ceasing, help me to live my life loving. I thank you Lord for new beginnings, I thank you for all you have brought me through to get me to this place. You are an awesome God and I love you wholeheartedly.

I'm Believing God Part 2

Well it has been a while since I had time to write on the ole' blog, so here it goes. Virginny (Virginia) has started a bible study at church on Believing God. It is really good. I had forgotten just how big God is and this is reminding me, as well as shaking me up a bit about some things. Shaking me up in a good way of course, it may not feel good to the flesh, but needed. Something like going to church every Sunday and the Pastor stepping on your toes, ouch! It is all good, all needed, it just doesn't feel so good at the time.
God answered a big prayer of mine in regards to a job. I believe I will start core training on the computer on Monday and then my job as a Patient Accounts Representative at Henry County Hospital the following Monday. God is always on time for sure. I finished my unemployment this week, this week and it is the very week I get a call to go to work. Awesome isn't it. I hope I think working is awesome too! I haven't worked full time at a desk job for several years. I had to help with mom so it was basically part-time. I would ask that you all pray for me. With all the senior expenses, Amber going to school and Josh looking at college soon also, it is good that I am back to work full time, it will just be a change. I am believing that I will once again be as organized as I once was and that there will be structure in my life again. What I think is really awesome about this is when I told them I would have to be gone for two weeks in July they were okay with it and thought going to France with the youth was a good thing. I am believing God that this job is just were he wants me. I will share this with you from our bible study so be blessed in Jesus name: 1) God is who He says He is, 2) God can do what He says He can do, 3)I am who God says I am, 4)I can do all things through Christ, 5)Gods word is alive and active in me!!! Bye for now.

I'M BELIEVING GOD

I was alone in my hot tub on Saturday night and had opportunity to think about the next day, which was Mother's Day. I probably shouldn't have went there, down memory lane, but I did. I had really been missing Mom and Aunt Connie lately and so of course, I began to talk to God and then to cry and whine to Him. I was feeling pretty sad and although I know that is part of it, I want to just go on without the pain and tears. I was (for once it seems) trying to work my way through it with God when I sensed another presence and it wasn't godly. I began to speak the word of God and command this presence to go in the name of Jesus, I put up my shield and shouted out my statements of faith on my fingers just as I had learned to do in our bible study 1) God is who He says He is, 2) God can do what He says He can do, 3) I am who God says I am, 4) I can do all things through Christ, 5) Gods word is alive and active in me, and then say I'M BELIEVING GOD!!!
It was amazing to me as I thought about it later, how empowered I felt as I used the weapon that God had given me, before, I would have kept on with all the crying and stuff, but instead God supernaturally touched me, strengthed me and helped me to draw upon the Holy Ghost and put the devil to flight. It was encouraging to me, usually I am wishing the next day that I hadn't given in to the enemies attack, I know better, but in the midst of it, it is hard to think, and then when you haven't applied or reacted the way you know you should have, you feel like you are back at square one all over again. That is not what God desires or intends and that isn't what I desire either. I am BELIEVING GOD as I know all the other 28 women are who have joined this bible study. We are hungry for God, we desire to be all that God says we are and we desire to know Him even more intimately than we do now. It is such a blessing to have a strong woman of God lead the study. I love the Lord and I do believe and have faith in Him, but God help me with my unbelief, I unfortunately have that also. May God bless you and keep you and may you too get a revelation of believing God if you haven't already.

GOD IS ON THE MOVE

Thank God He is on the move. I had a BIG post ready to publish and then I erased it all. It was whining really, focusing on the problems and not the problem solver, so by the end, I had already spoken of the goodness of God and the need to trust Him, for a job and what I should be doing for Himthat nullified the post.
I think God is truly on the move when you here about the implants they want to put under the skin so you can pay with it instead of using cash or credit cards, just swipe your wrist. Does that sound like we are in the last days to anyone else. Do you think that there are people who are seriously considering this? You can't have the knowledge we have about the end times and doubt what is going on. They are going to try and make it common place to have it done, so when it comes down to crunch time in the end, it won't seem like such a big deal. I guess we need to stay plugged in to the word and work of God and allow His revelation to guide us and stay away from the implants they are talking about.
God is good all the time and He cares for us and we need to cherish that.